I slept in this morning and didn't make it to my field training until 9. I spent an hour fussing around trying figure out what I want to teach my for lesson tomorrow. It;s hard because everyone is doing their own work and there is no classroom teaching happening at this site. I have to create some sort of focus. Most of the students read this concise Che biography. I might do something with that, or maybe just a lesson on communism in general, I don't know.
The real reason I am writing this is because I'm actually really nervous for this observation. Why should I be freaking out over this? For the past year and a half I have been teaching lessons, improvising and creating my own material to teach. I can do this with my eyes closed so why the hell should I be freaking out right now.
I have this tendency to get into competitive programs and be at the top of the class and have ridiculous amounts of potential and then I get really depressed and just crack under the pressure. I don't want to go through this again. I don't want to have those feelings that I'd rather be packing groceries or making lattes.
This is not a life or death situation. If I completely fail this observation, I'll still be in the program and it has no bearing on my future. In a few years I will be comfortable in my craft and a million times better off because I suffered through the beginning. If I can get through this training and the first few years I'll be much better off. It'll probably feel as easy as packing groceries, plus I'll be making a decent living and having a worthwhile job.
I need to starting working on this lesson plan.
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