It's heading downhill at the moment

Yeah. So I have been avoiding this blog because I hate to admit that things aren't go well right now. This week has been rough.

Monday/Tuesday: I did alright on my class presentation but I totally bombed my field training observation. I had a rough night so I did some quick stupid lesson I put together that morning and was soo unprepared. At least I admitted to it and didn't try to act like it was everyone else's fault.

Tuesday Job fair: There are about a dozen schools and about a few hundred teachers roaming around. I see all my classmates as we are all sitting down for interviews. A few of them went alright I guess, I see my black classmates go ahead of me, and I could see the change in the body language of the principals, they seemed well received.

I ran into the gay boy I met at that 6 person interview, I mentioned earlier, and he told me out of the 6 of us the principal called back the black girl and the Hispanic boy and the hispanic boy got the job. This flamboyant gay boy and I were clearly the best and the smartest, I told him I thought he had the position. We both bonded over this rejection.

Wednesday: I call Josh at east side house to call Mott Haven. The FV calls me and wants me to redo the lesson I bombed, next Tuesday.

Thursday: I miss field training and decide to go to Mott Haven with a lesson plan. My FV supports this. I'm being proactive. Unfortunately I travel all the way down there and I can't get into the school. Later in the day Edmund (ie. the boy I messed around with last week) tells me he just received an e-mail from them calling him in for an interview on Tuesday. I rush home and check my e-mail to find that I have not been selected. So they don't want me. I can't understand why. I doubt a call from my company's executive can make them change their mind, but we'll see. I'm actually pretty embarrassed and I don't really want to tell everyone.