I Could Crush Her with My Pinky

Today I met the General Education Teacher that teaches the 4th period global class. The one who will not let me be involved in anyway shape or form. She would be most satisfied if I disappeared from the room while she was teaching. She did not acknowledge my presence in the room until Mr. Z introduced me as his student teacher, and assured her that I would only be observing. God forbid I had any involvement in your holy classroom. She is also the department head. Figures. As I sat on a radiator in the back of the class bored out of my skull, I couldn't help but imagine how easy I could crush this woman. At least there's one battle in which I would surely prevail.

I have to learn to control my anger

So I happen to find a paycheck sitting on my teacher's desk. I was in plain sight and I was overtaken with curiosity. What does a special education teacher, who teaches one class, observes another, and sits on his ass the rest of the day until he is called for the occasional meeting or paperwork, make? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- After taxes, about 98,000 a year! Can you believe that! I can. THIS is what is wrong with the world. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ If I spend all of my time feeling angry I will drive myself crazy, so I must learn to compartmentalize these strong feelings I have about the vast injustices I have witnessed thus far in this first week of placement.

Monday: The first "official" day

As I walked into the building the assistant principal is writing "Early Dismissal" on a piece of chart paper set up outside her office. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So Friday was a BS day, and I guess today is one too. All because of a few drops of snow. It was not that bad out. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So after watching my teacher teach 1st period economics my day is basically done. It would have been done at 11am anyway, but I would have had to hang around an extra two hours, silently reading and going nutzzz. I mentioned my disappointment in not being involved in his 4th period global class. And he said, "Well you have 12th grade 1st period, why do you need another high school class? It would be redundant." I said, "Well, I would love to maximize the time I spent here and gain more opportunities to teach." And he didn't have much to say to that. He knows it's true. This opportunity is limited at best. I guess should be so lucky to set foot in such a prize school that I shouldn't be concerned with anything else really.

Take that!

I had a great moment today. Second period an administrator came into the class and said that he needed me to proctor exams for the last three periods of the day. He asked in a pathetic tone that suggested that he knew he was asking me to do shit work. I said in a professional and diplomatic tone, "Today is the first day of the semester. I am required to follow my cooperating teacher. I cannot proctor those exams, because I cannot put that into my log. It will not count as part of my student teaching." And then he said, "Well, then I guess we will have to find someone else to do it." You got that right asshole. My moment of victory, at last. I felt so good after I declined his request politely and non-verbally communicated to him that he should go fuck himself. It was empowering. I have the power to control the way that I do business and the amount of crap I will tolerate from people. The key is to deal with situations in a professional manner, and stay calm not to let on my true feelings.

SpEd Kids Don't Matter Here

Many of the students who are classified as special education happen to be black and all hang out together in his classroom during lunch period and at various points throughout the day. They all have the same haircut, wear the same clothes and drop the "n" bomb in casual conversation. My cooperating teacher doesn't seem to mind. I guess they feel ostracized and are trying to hold onto whatever sense of identity they can among this sea of high achieving white kids. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The B-mountain High school has a culture of high achievement and is known as a "good" school. I get a feeling of stuffiness and pretentiousness in the school climate. Many of the general education teachers have made it clear that I am not allowed to teach in their class. I can only observe from a distance. The head of personnel, the woman who made the arrangements seems to think that I can fulfill my student teaching requirement by creating lesson plans, that I would only present to my professor and not to the class. The whole point of student teaching is to teach. It's obnoxious of her to relegate me to such a low standing. I feel demeaned by the way this school seeks to utilize me to proctor exams and provide free labor in their theatre, but will not allow me to teach (the real reason I came to the school in the first place).

Placement Disaster!

So I just began my first half of week at the B-Mountain High School and I'm bored out of my skull. I was asked to proctor exams the first two days, so the expectation was low. What I thought was supposed to be a prime student teaching gig at a prime school, has turned out to be a major disappointment. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The only positive thing about this placement is the cooperating teacher. He is a nice guy. Although he seems to do nothing all day, he has great ideas about creative projects for special education students. He also cares about his students, unlike most of the other teachers whom he said view special ed kids as "lazy" and "unmotivated." I can understand why these kids might be unmotivated. If I am reading at a fourth grade level, and a teacher demands that I complete work that is way out of my range of ability, of course I'm not going to make the effort. I would feel defeated. The only thing left to do is freak out.