Holocaust Survivor

I decided to go on a trip with Mr. C's class to a Yonkers Jewish center to hear from a Holocaust survivor. It was incredible. I'm so glad that I went. I remember him saying that he had committed horrible atrocities to stay alive, but he didn't want to go into detail. When a classmate asked about his family he said that someone at a camp pointed to the fire coming out of the chimney at the crematorium and saying that is what happened to them. What was most memorable for me was when he talked about the transport from one camp to another. He said that it was a six hour trip that the Nazis made into a three week trip. Every car was packed solid with a hundred people. They would leave the cars on side tracks for days while other trains passed through. He was only given a small piece of bread in the morning, a cup of water at lunch and a small piece of bread for dinner. He said that the train became more roomy as the trip went on and the mattress was soft (I am assuming he means that so many people died that he lay across their bodies to sleep). Out of three thousand people, only about 250 survived the trip. Almost the same amount of people died in transit as they did in the concentration camps, and that was the point. Most of the people that survived the train were between the ages of 16 and 20, anyone older or younger could not handle it. After three days in Auschwitz he met a Czech cook that he knew from his hometown. This cook made him part of the staff and hid there for nine months, carrying back food stuffed in his jacket to his people. After he was rescued from the camp he was put into sanitarium for five weeks. It took him a while before he could speak. He went back to the camps with his wife a few years ago and would not walk into the exhibit. She saw a picture of him in his striped clothing, looking thin and frail and screamed in horror at the sight. This trip was a life changing experience, and I'm glad that the students had this opportunity because I did not remember ever seeing a Holocaust speaker as a child. In the not-too-distant future there will be no opportunities to hear these survivors speak and ask them questions. It is important to keep the truth alive.

It's nice to know that I am missed.

I left a few minutes early to deliver some student work to my former placement. I walked in at the end of the period and all the students were so delighted to see me. They were so happy and excited. They all wished me luck in my future and said they really missed me. Wow! That feels great to get that kind of reception. So they do have positive memories of me, and maybe I did touch their lives just a little bit in my short time with them. Once I start taking over psycho lady's classes I may feel the urge to do all the teaching, just to give these students some dose of education before I leave. It would make her so happy for me to teach everything,'cause then she could sit on her ass. I can't wait for this placement to end!

It's all about me!

So I've come to the conclusion today that my cooperating teacher has a narcissistic personality disorder. She barely taught them today, due to all of the yearbook pictures she wanted to take care of. She said she was feeling really stressed out. She was planning on me taking over the 3rd period class and reading the textbook and terms, so she would be free to wander around the building. I said that's fine, I would love to teach the class but I'm not sure that it is legal for you to leave the room while I teach. She left me alone this morning and it thankfully didn't get too out of hand. I know there are some troubled students in these classes and I would hate for a fight to break out and to be the one that is responsible. Her response was that all student teachers are typically left alone when they teach, so it's the way things are done in the school. She reassured me that she wouldn't leave me alone with the really tough kids. I guess I can deal with that for now. If I get truly uncomfortable I may take some action. It's too soon to take a stand, even though I know that I am right and she is once again being unprofessional. I want to pick my battles, because I have a feeling that anything I do say will probably be disregarded as she has not been the best listener. She ended up dumping the students in the gym because she only had two. In her mind you shouldn't teach anything if you have only two kids. I view it differently. These two kids should benefit the most from coming to class. They should get rewards and have a productive day of learning so they can be light years ahead of those who failed to show. After 5th period the psycho lady said she felt that she had a productive day and was happy about everything that she accomplished (on the yearbook). She brought the students to the auditorium for 6th and 7th because she didn't feel like teaching, even though they were supposed to be in class. So no teaching occurred today, the students received diddly squat, but she had a productive day. That's great for you, you stuck-up asshole.

warming up to psycho lady

So I think I'm starting to like my cooperating teacher. She may be wildly unprofessional, but she's been good to me so far. She hasn't hid materials or made unreasonable demands. So far so good. Her 9th grade class is four weeks behind the 9th grade class at taught in White Plains. Score! They are about to start a Middle Ages Unit. So all the work I did in creating the unit plan can be taught to these kids with a few tweaks. I feel so less stressed out. This woman could use some help with methods and materials. She seems very open to whatever I am going to do. I'm bringing in my materials tomorrow to show her. For her 10th graders I'm thinking about what I could do for the Cold War and the Middle East. The only major hurdle is the fact that the computers block every decent educational website I can think of. It will be more challenging to get videos since youtube and every decent video site is blocked, but I will find a way.

The Kid that Smiles too much

Today I had the privilege of witnessing Artez at his worst. A child of the obnoxious variety. He seems to feed off anything that the psycho lady says in response to his defiance. She does not realize that she is fueling the fire by yelling at him after about every third curse and threatening him with empty promises. He is instigating the rest of the class, students who normally wouldn't be behaving so badly now a mess. The class has fallen apart. What do you expect when you assign students the arduous task of having to write hundreds of words from a word document for 45 minutes straight. How are they supposed to focus on this task for such an extended period of time and not create their own entertainment. I;m not sure I can sit still that long and write all of those notes without a lecture or explanation or some other sort of stimulation or just some time to stop and think. ___________________________________________________________________________________________After the lesson I asked the psycho lady why she didn't send Artez out of the room much earlier when she first threatened him with that punishment. Se said that he would have just taken a walk around the hallway and came back, as if it had no serious effect on his behavior. She saw the situation as hopeless and I can understand her feelings given that she did not have a negative consequence to stop him or positive encouragement to motivate him to behave. There is nothing stopping Artez from going wild and he is as aware of the fact as anyone. Psycho lady was so mad at Artez that she punished everyone with a quiz. The only trouble was that Artez didn't give a crap and sat there doing nothing while everyone else did the quiz. She then said that she would give a quiz for everyday that Artez didn't behave. Artez, the natural jerk that he is said, "that's a great idea, you should do that, it will help us study for the regents." Yeah, everyone will be punished with a quiz while Artez will sit there doing nothing and laughing at everyone including the teacher. If he can have the power to force the teacher to go wild, he wins the power game. Now the question for me is how am I going to deal with this basketcase?

Day One with Psycho Lady

It's my first day in a new school. I was greeted by my cooperating teacher and she proceeded to complain about her students. "They all act up and that's the way it is. If you can't beat 'em join 'em." Not the attitude I was looking for. All day today she was in CSE meetings so she dumped me off in the class next door. I had a great time in Mr. C's class. He's a funny guy. After 60 minutes with this woman I wanted to scream. I looked through her class and saw packets, packets and more packets! She wrote on the board that students will be completing their packets and starting a new one. She curses like a sailor and lets out every bad word in front of her students. She allows them to curse in class and curses with them and at them. She said to a student who was in the Shakespeare workshop, "You have to stopping fucking saying the fucking F-word in this class, remember you are not in my classroom." What a terrible lesson to teach your students. She spent the entire first period with this other teacher and the security guards bad mouthing the students. As she dumped me into her colleague's class she saw they were eating girl scout cookies and said, "cover your ears kids, I love this vodka drink that tastes like a samoa cookie." I have no idea how this woman is as a teacher but I have seen some of the most unprofessional behavior of my life. I suspect that she is trying to be friends with the students rather than be their teacher. I will have to investigate further when I see her in front of the class.

Annual Review Time!

I had IEP meetings all day today. One parent thought they knew the law, and wanted to argue for every special ed service imaginable enabling less responsibility for their child. Another parent wasn't at the meeting, and her son has been doing so well. He was falsely placed in Special Ed, and falsely placed in pathways (program for mentally disturbed students). We joked that he probably hit a white kid somewhere along the line and was forever labeled. Although his parent wasn't there to fight for him, we have him on track to leave special ed. So today has been quite a learning experience.

Observed. Again.

So this time I was more comfortable and students seemed to be into it. The three bits of advice I received was, 1) MORE wait time. I need to wait a sec or 5 after I ask a question. Allow that awkward silence to take hold. 2) I should have more than one student answer the same question, that way other students can benefit from a re-phrasing of the answer. 3) I said too much! Ask and shut up! The students will tell you the next thing you were going to say. It's better if they figure it out, nuff of this spoon feeding. In the far or not so far future, I hope to create independent learners out of my students, proactive and able to express themselves. The dream, the future goal. How I want to shape these young brains.

The fear has ended.

Finally I finished Monday and everything seems like it's going to be fine for the rest of the week. It's strange how that is, that Sunday night makes me insane, and Monday everything is fine in the world. Mrs. A wasn't even that critical, weird. I must appreciate the positive feelings while they last.

I can't wait to be done with this!!

I think the approach I need to take in teaching Africa is to first consult the NY curriculum and plan this lesson as if these are my own students. I need to do this for the kids and not for these demanding impossible to please co-teachers. They will criticize anything I do, especially if it is good because it threatens their establishment. I am free to be successful or suck because the same result of harsh criticism will result in either. There is comfort in knowing that this will come to an end, and I can say that I have successfully collaborated with some difficult people. Yay, just what I wanted. I need to get off this pity train, suck it up, woman-up, and do this. I will check back in later.

It's Sunday, This time I need to prevent the panic

So it's Sunday. I'm wasting large amounts of time freaking out about this lesson on Africa, instead of getting the lessons done. Every lesson I deliver may not be the greatest lesson I have ever done, and I need to accept some mediocrity in my work. I don't think Africa is interesting, and that is largely because I know little about it. I felt in my youth Global history was not taught well. I missed many of these units as a child, so I lack the background knowledge. My co-teachers are not on the same page as to how much time I need to spend on each section of African culture. I must do what the demanding older lady wants me to do, since she drives the ship. Again, I feel so unsupported in this placement. I have been told the countries that I will teach, but no clue as to the important information. I guess that means I better consult the New York core curriculum. What's been strange, is that what these women are teaching doesn't always follow this curriculum, ending up as another situation of "do as I say, not as I do." I am shocked at the lack of organization and curriculum planning for two women that have been teaching global I for a while. How could they not know what they are doing? I am looking forward to a new placement. Hopefully my next teacher will be more of a professional, and treat me in a way that is reasonable. It is so unreasonable for these women to be so demanding of me when they don't have a clue what they are doing and do not represent the amazing teaching they expect from me. Everything they tell me not to do such as lecture the entire time, they do, so I have not had a good role model to follow.