The First Day Blues

I finished the first day at White Plains.  I thought it was manageable after the first three periods, but I nearly lost it after 7th and could barely hold it together 8th.  I hid behind the desk for most of 8th period.  AHHHH!!! Crazy Kids!  There really weren't that bad.  I just had a flashback to when I was in the Bronx and they were several times worse.  Since I know how bad it can get I am picturing in my mind the desks flying around the room and the students all out of their seats running all over the room screaming.  Professor was right.  I have Post-Traumatic Stress disorder.  And it's from my last job.  At one point, I think it after the third trip to the bathroom I could see as I looked in the mirror, I had tears rolling down my face. I could stop it at that point.  I was completely engulfed by my emotions.  I can't let this happen.  I can't have them see me like this.  I think they already know I'm weak.  Somehow I have to control my emotions.  Right now it seems out of my control.